No menu items!

COSTA RICA'S LEADING ENGLISH LANGUAGE NEWSPAPER

HomeCosta RicaCosta Rica Expat Living: My Friend in the City

Costa Rica Expat Living: My Friend in the City

There is a guy I know, a US citizen–I will call him Victor- who has lived in Costa Rica for 12 years, yet is unable to say “I have lived in Costa Rica for twelve years’’ in Spanish. You may know the type. He gets by in public with a combination of broken Spanish, loud English, hand gestures and body language.

When that is not enough, he calls me. Which is how I found myself back in San Jose, a place I generally avoid except when exiting or entering the country. Victor was a city guy in the states and he wouldn’t think of living anywhere else. I took the bus to San Jose, an uber to his condo in Escazu (first walking a couple blocks away from the bus terminal so as not to attract the ire of the official red taxis),

The elevator was out of order, so I walked up the 5 flights of stairs to his condo. I arrived a bit sweaty, so Victor brought me a glass of water. It looked more like skim milk than water. They always say it is because there is air in the pipes; I always wonder- ‘if its air, why does it look more like chlorine gas?’

I asked the inevitable question– “Is this water safe to drink?” Victor answered, “Of course it’s safe to drink. Its city water.” I laughed, and then said to Victor,. “If I want to be assured of the cleanliness and good hygiene of something, putting the word ‘city’ in front of it ain’t gonna do the trick.

Nobody goes downtown to that narrow street where all the buses are parked and idling and takes a big hit of that city air, do they? Would you buy city drugs off a stranger in a bar? After doing the drugs, would you go have city sex with that woman you picked up off a street corner, the one whose voice got strangely deeper when it came time to pay?” Victor was not interested in my rant. He needed translation help.

That was the reason I was visiting him. He was building a house in a pricey development in Santa Ana, and had a meeting with his architect, who, Victor complained, couldn’t speak English nearly as well as a Tico professional should. I have given up trying to explain to my friend why it is incumbent on him, in a Spanish-speaking country, not to expect others to speak English.

 He thinks they should meet him halfway. I can only imagine the incomprehensible conversations he must have when he is on his own in San Jose. I was with him once when we went to a bakery to look for a birthday cake. Victor walked confidently to the counter and asked “Tengas caca?” You just asked if they have poop, I informed him. He brushed me off–”They understand what I meant”. The counterwoman chuckled, but she did understand, unfortunately– I was hoping she would bring him the keys to the men’s room.

The meeting with the architect went smoothly, mainly because Victor kept his mouth shut and let me do the talking between the two. A bona fide professional translator would have charged Victor $200 or more for the services. I settled for a steak sandwich, 2 Heinekens, a gram of green smokeable and reimbursement of my bus and uber fares.

Trending Now

Panama Removed from EU High-Risk List, but Tax Haven Status Remains

The film The Laundromat, starring Meryl Streep, damaged Panama's reputation by drawing inspiration from a real-life story: the global scandal that erupted a decade...

Chiquita Executives Convicted in Colombia for Financing Death Squads

Colombian justice on Wednesday sentenced seven former executives of the multinational banana company Chiquita Brands to more than 11 years in prison and a...

Costa Rica Faces Economic Blow as Intel, Pfizer, and Qorvo Announce Restructuring

Intel announced that it will shut down its chip assembly and test plant in Costa Rica, part of a broader global restructuring aimed at...

Remittances to Central America Surge 20% Amid U.S. Deportation Fears

Family remittances in Central America grew by around 20% in the first half of 2025, according to official data—a rise that experts attribute to...

A Closer Look at the Elusive Purple Gallinule in Costa Rica

Quick! Think of a purple bird! It’s a little difficult, right? I searched my brain and came up with a purple martin. A small...

Costa Rica Fails to Meet Human Rights Standards for Deportees

The Ombudsman's Office has confirmed that Costa Rica was unprepared to provide adequate care for deportees who have entered the country since February. This...
spot_img
Costa Rica Coffee Maker Chorreador
Costa Rica Coffee Maker Chorreador
Costa Rica Travel Insurance
Costa Rica Rocking Chait
Costa Rica Travel

Latest News from Costa Rica