Is it just me, or does it seem like too many people are looking too hard for something– anything– to get upset about? The internet is overloaded with whiners and nitpickers, broadcasting the latest outrage to their delicate sensibilities. While it can be tiresome, it can also be contagious. The more I watch, the more sorry little nits I have to pick. How petty can I get? You tell me. The following are little things that can drive me crazy in CR:
1) The tightest knots in the world
With the patience of a surgeon, these bags can be opened. The trick is to tightly braid the excess plastic and gently push it back through the knot. The other trick is simply to rip the bag open. The product inside is usually inside another, smaller, unknotted plastic bag anyway.
2) Refrescos to go in a small plastic bag
I admit, there have been times that I have been on a bus and been so thirsty that when an ambulatory vendor boards with a cooler full of agua de pipa, sold in small, transparent plastic bags held together by the tightest knot in the world, I have bitten. Literally. That is the only way to open them. With your teeth. Good luck getting it down the hatch without at least a little dribbling onto your clothes.
3) Poor quality packaged tortillas
Even the best mass-produced tortillas can’t touch a home made one. But there are some packaged tortillas that are an embarrassment to the world of corn meal. You would think in a country where the tortilla is widely consumed, there wouldn’t exist ones that break apart in your hand as soon as you fill them with chicken or beans.
4) Drums and glockenspiels forever
If you like the sound of dozens of drummers and glockenspiel (or xylophone) players banging out a song, this is the place for you. I recently listened to a large percussion band practicing on the soccer field around the corner from my house. They did a booming version of the popular song “Te compro tu novia” that could be heard for miles. While these bands are normally heard practicing for Independence Day parades in September, they are currently warming up most likely for the May 1 Costa Rican Inauguration day.
5) Mobile loudspeakers
I have no problem with these entrepreneurs and promoters, but wouldn’t mind if they turned the volume down just a bit. In my barrio they pass daily, selling eggs, fruit, and produce, as well as collecting scrap metal and discarded appliances. Sometimes I appreciate them, as heard here when they drowned out a public preacher in the downtown park.
6) Dogs that bark and owners who make no effort to quiet them
This is a universal experience. The enclosed recording was taken while sipping coffee on my back patio. These neighbors’ dogs go off a few times a day like this for several minutes at a time. (File recording)
7) Weirdly synched stoplights
San Isidro de el General, where I live, has put up a series of much needed traffic lights over the past couple of decades. Some seem to help the flow of traffic, others, not so much. But a major intersection near me has a major problem that has resulted in several collisions. There is no pause between one light turning red while the crossing traffic light turns green, resulting in bad drivers hrrying to run the light while the cross street drivers have the green light.
8) Police driving slowly at night with lights flashing
I have never understood this practice. It is like an early warning system for criminals. Here come the police! Better wait until they pass before we break into this car.
9) Pedestrians casually crossing the street as the light turns green for the car traffic
The pedestrians have their own signals that say not to begin crossing, yet many choose to ignore it.
10) Pedestrians walking in the street when there is a sidewalk available
Admittedly, there are places where no sidewalk exists, but where this is a sidewalk in many barrios, locals still choose to walk in the street, challenging cars to not hit them.
11) Bicyclists riding 2 or more abreast
I have cycled the roads of Costa Rica for over 3 decades, and always ride as far to the right as is safe. I know the law says that cyclists should be treated like any other vehicle on the road, but it still irritates me to see cyclists riding 2 or 3 abreast on a busy road, calmly chatting among themselves while pedaling at less than half the speed of a car.
12) I call myself an expat– not an immigrant
The word expatriate was originally coined in the 18th century to describe someone who had been banished from their home country. Starting around 1900 it evolved to mean anyone who has chosen to live in another country, and not necessarily for economic reasons or to escape persecution. I wrote a column about this distinction a couple years back and stand by it. So don’t irritate me by insisting that only the word ‘immigrant’ is acceptable. Pura freakin’ vida!
Read more of Don Mateo’s writing from his newly published ebook.
