Choosing to live in a foreign country and, in my case, to speak a foreign language, definitely has its ups and downs. Sometimes, I think I must be crazy for making such a choice, especially when I see so many Ticos who would give anything to live and work in the United States. Other times, for example, when Bush was re-elected, I seriously consider applying for Costa Rican citizenship.
I’ve found something that helps a lot: making Expatriate Miss Lists. These are lists of things (not people, values, or expectations) that I miss and don’t miss about the United States. I started by making two long lists and then tried to whittle them down to 10 items each. It was quite a process. I spent about a week adding and subtracting items, and it wasn’t exactly a success. No matter how hard I tried, my lists kept coming out to 15 items, in no particular order.
Eventually, I managed to choose my top two. I must admit, I was disappointed at first—they seemed so trivial. But then I realized they were things I used nearly every day. Here they are: What I miss most is hot water; what I miss least is pantyhose.
Through this process, I discovered two things. First, my lists are very individual. Sure, some items would appear on most people’s lists, but many are uniquely mine. Second, and more importantly, I realized that none of the items on my Miss List are essential to living well, and none of the things on my Don’t Miss List are things I couldn’t live with again.
In other words, these things are not the reasons I live here or don’t live there, and dwelling on them avoids the truth. The truth is that I’m here because of certain life circumstances and profound psychological reasons that I won’t bore you with.
Here, then, are my lists. If some obvious things are missing, like good roads and efficient transactions, it’s because I’ve been here for more than 15 years, and certain annoyances have become expectations.
Miss:
- Frozen spinach
- Hot water
- The Oregon Shakespeare Festival
- County fairs
- Bumper stickers
- Licorice
- Australian shepherd dogs
- National Public Radio
- Abundant bookstores
- Bluegrass music
- Bike trails
- Cherries
- Dishwashers
- Dusk at 9:30 p.m.
- Junk stores
Don’t Miss:
- Trailer courts
- Black ice
- Rednecks
- Slush
- Pantyhose
- Bare trees
- Hostile teenagers
- Too many choices
- March
- Patrol cars
- 115 degrees in the shade
- Air conditioning/central heating
- The “F” word
- Getting up in the dark
- Auto-wrecking yards
