Dear Nica Times:
Dear Compañero Presidente Amigo Comandante Daniel:
As the second phase of the Sandinista revolution advances with giant steps, I want to thank you personally for resolving Nicaragua’s energy crisis.
Thanks to the Christian and socialist love of the Bolivarian Alliance for the Americas (ALBA), Nicaragua is literally emerging from the darkness of its neoliberal past and entering into the light of a more just, revolutionary model. … Well, sort of.
Now, instead of the power going off for programmed blackouts five days a week as it did during the nightmarish years of neoliberalism, it only goes off about three or four times a week at random times, for unknown intervals and for unexplained reasons.
Unlike the savage capitalistic power rationing policies of the Enrique Bolaños administration, now we have a steady flow of energy, unless of course it starts to rain, or when the wind blows too hard, or when there’s no wind at all, or if there’s thunder, of if the sun is shining too brightly, or if it’s too dark out, or if I’m trying to watch the World Cup.
But now, as I sit in the dark fumbling for matches, I thank the Sandinista revolution for helping me cut my candle costs.
Instead of burning through eight candles a week, now I’m only using about five or six! ALBA does indeed work miracles!
With such steady and visionary leadership, it’s only a matter of years before Nicaragua advances beyond its Third World, banana republic status.
Under the Sandinista government we’ve probably already advanced to 2.7th World, papaya republic status – a step in the right direction, I’d say.
Haiti will never catch up to us, thanks to you, Compañero Daniel!